License Agreements

Винаги съм бил сигурен че из текстовете на EULA (End User License Agreement) се крият колосални простотии, понеже рискът да бъдат прочетени обстойно клони стремително към нула.

Ето защо останах не толкова изненадан, колкото очарован, от лингвистичните способности на човека, сътворил следната клауза в едно такова лицензионно споразумение:

11. For reasons including, but not limited to, the fact that water freezes at a higher temperature than ethyl alcohol, the fact that the program is licensed free of charge, and the fact (or possibly non-fact) that in 1983 the british fishing industry landed 412 million metric tonnes of sprats, there is no warranty for the program, to the extent permitted by applicable law, physical law (inluding, but not limited to ohm’s law, special relativity, general relativity and sod’s law), ordinary logic with or without the axiom of choice, except when otherwise stated in writing, which may include electronic writing where permitted by applicable law, the copyright holders and/or other parties who may or may not have anything to do with this licence, or any other licence, or any thing other than a licence, provide the program “as is” without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, written or unwritten, in rhyming or plain verse, or, indeed, in prose, including, but not limited to, the implied warranties of merchantability and fitness for a particular or inparticular purpose.

The entire risk as to the quality, smell and performance of the program is with you. should the program prove defective, you assume the cost of all necessary servicing, medical costs, legal costs, psychiatric treatment, value-added or other sales tax, where applicable, repair, inluded but not limited to the replacement of any fixtures or fittings, pipes or conduits, wires, cables or connectors, or correction. this licence may contains traces of nut.

Всъщност умопомрачителната тирада по-горе спокойно може да бъде сведена до следната сентенция: